I’m More Than An Imperfection

“Where did you get that ugly mark on your back?”

The question wasn’t asked to hurt me. It had no malicious intent. I could even tell she regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. But still, I mumbled a quick response, took off to the bathroom and locked the stall behind me before I let silent cries rack my entire body.

For the next week, I repeatably scolded myself for bending over at work and allowing my shirt to ride up enough to show the mark, my skin condition, morphea, left on my back.

Then, for the millionth time, I researched how likely it is that I will ever get one of those devilishly ugly brown rough skin patches on my face.

Not likely, but possible… but that isn’t really the point, is it?

So far, I have two scaly brown patches on my body. One is on my back, and the other is on my arm. They’re about two inches wide and one inch tall. I let 6 inches of imperfection make me cry. Some days, I let it define me. Other days, I find other imperfections on my body to define me.

Sometimes it’s my weight. Other times it’s the way my clothes fit, or my frizzy hair, or the stray hairs outside of my eyebrows. Some days it’s as superficial as not being able to get my makeup to look like the girls in tutorials. The absurdity of that hits me hard. I’m actually upset that I can’t make myself look like someone else. I consider it an imperfection. I consider that because I can’t add a fake glow to my cheekbone, I’m ugly.

Society has made their standards clear. As a woman, I need to be skinny, but not too skinny, and definitely not fat. I need to have size D breasts, but they can not be saggy. I can’t leave the house without makeup, but I can’t wear too much either. I need to buy a 100 dollar flat iron to smooth out my frizzy hair. I need to purchase every cream on the market to get rid of my stretch marks, and I definitely need to hide any random ugly mark on my skin I develop over time.

Except I’m not going to. At least not anymore. Because the other day multiple thoughts invaded my mind, and for the first time they were useful, and not hurtful. They came over me in a rush that I felt throughout my entire body, and they might be the most important thoughts that have ever entered my mind.

Like so many times before, I was turned around with my back facing the mirror peering over my shoulder and glaring at the mark my coworker had called ugly. But where usually, I would had felt my insecurities rise, I thought about the week before, and what my coworker had said, and then, a laugh bubbled out of me.

“It really is ugly,” I said out loud.  Then, the rush of valuable thoughts about my imperfections washed over me… You know what? It’s three inches big. I have another one? So what. Six inches total.

I am more than six inches of imperfection. I’m more than a stupid number on a scale. I’m more than a few stray hairs between my eyebrows. I’m more than frizzy hair and makeup that isn’t perfectly painted on to my face.

I’m more than any imperfection on my entire body. And even if, one day, my entire body is coated in scaly brown patches, I will still be more.

I’ve accepted the way I look, and not because I think I’m the most beautiful woman on the planet, but because I can’t change it. And what’s even better is I don’t need to, because I’m smart, and I’m funny. I’m real, and I’m genuine. I’m loving and caring, and understanding.

I’m living, and I’m healthy. I’m strong, and I’m powerful. So powerful, I’ve decided to stop caring what the rest of the world thinks, and just be happy with me.

I don’t need to be beautiful, because I am so much more, and an insignificant imperfection on my body can’t change that.

38 thoughts on “I’m More Than An Imperfection

  1. This 5 min read made me feel empowered. It is so true that we let meaningless standards set by the world define us and affect us so much that it bothers us to a disturbing extent. We just should be ourselves and feel that pride in being unique

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so happy to read this. We are beyond our imperfections. The imperfection is in the body afterall. Not in our thoughts or our talent. So why let it define us? Be strong and love yourself for the person you are. Because you are one of a kind.

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  3. This is so empowering. It’s so easy to get caught up in what everyone else thinks of you and forget about what’s important. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and remind yourself of what really matters. Such a powerful piece, I wish I could write like you ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This piece is really inspiring and touched my heart. I understand the feeling of never being good enough in the eyes of the world and this idea of ‘perfect’ is imaginary. No one, not even the models that we see plastered ever where, are true to this idea of ‘perfection’. After a photo shoot is carried out, many photos will be looked through, the best will be chosen and then edited. Instead of wanting to be like others, we should want to be ourselves.

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  5. You are so inspirational! Beauty is in the eye of he beholder, which means that everyone is beautiful in their own way. We can’t let ‘imperfections’ hold us back or define us, because at the end of the day inner beauty is what matters most. Such a lovely post!❀️

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Another great one! πŸ™‚ It’s almost funny how hard it sometimes is to accept and love ourselves the way we are. Especially the things that cannot really be changed. That should be the easiest thing in the world..

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  7. Loved every word here. This surely is a master piece. πŸ™‚ If anything is imperfect ,its the way society tries to label women as if we are some kind of objects. You my dear, are so strong to stand up to whats wrong. You are truly inspirational !

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  8. It is so easy to get caught up in this!

    My mum tells the story of how my grandfather, her father-in-law, commented on a mole on her decollatage more than 10 years ago and how that stuck with her. She was dressed up for a fancy family occasion and I think that’s all that she remembers from that event now. How instead of him complimenting her, all dressed up, he picked at the one flaw that she would have had a hard time covering. Even 10 years later she wishes that she had replied with something cutting rather than fobbing him off.

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    1. It honestly is soooo easy! And people definitely don’t help by pointing it out… I’ve reached a place of finding confidence in myself, and I just look at as a way now, that I’m more original. We all have imperfections, but they also makes us, us! 😊❀

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  9. How inspirational this post is! I really agree on the points you made in this post. People are really easy to take unnecessary pains to overthink their imperfections and got stuck in the negative emotions. Instead of focusing on the imperfections, people can better recognize their strengths and qualities. They will know that they are β€˜more than any imperfection on their entire bodies’. I am kind of working on the same topics in my site which is called Love Your Skin. That site is for people who live with various skin conditions and diseases. We encourage them to accept the way they look and feel better with their appearances even though their skins are not β€˜perfect’ under the standards of the society. If you can not change it, then love it (this sentence is inspired by your post, thank you so much). If you are interested, you can check out our blog here: https://nodermatologicalshame.wordpress.com/

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