Pretty Girls Don’t Get Less Than A Hundred Likes On Their Selfie

I thought I was depressed because of social media.

I posted a picture of myself on Instagram and five minutes later, I deleted it, because nobody liked it. I thought I looked pretty in it. I genuinely loved the picture, but in a span of five minutes, I decided I didn’t like it anymore, because nobody else did.

Two weeks later I posted it again with a stronger filter and increased the brightness, and I got 57 likes, and I felt good again, but then an overwhelming feeling of disappointment washed over me. I liked the first picture better, so why didn’t I keep it up?

It’s because I define my worth by how many likes I get on a picture or a post, and the realization of that fact actually causes my stomach to flop.

We’re the generation of social media. We all have four core social media accounts kept directly on our phones. Some of us have even more. And that isn’t going to change.

The generations that came before us will continue to scoff as we pull out our phones and rant about how when they were younger, they went outside. They’ll pit us against ourselves and the generation we’re apart of.

We’ll try to take breaks from our social media accounts, and limit the time we spend on our phones, but we’ll never actually get away from it. We can’t. It’s become too important. It’s gained too much power.

We feel it’s needed to keep in touch with old friends. We’re asked by our bosses to promote their business. We have groups on Facebook with our fellow students to help each other study and work on projects. We even use it as a platform to follow our dreams by promoting and sharing our art. And it is truly great for those purposes, but some times, it also depresses the hell out of us, but it isn’t social media that we should blame. It’s us.

Social media has become a competition of who has the more perfect life. If we truly posted to let our old friends know how we were doing, we would post about the bad stuff too, but we don’t. I know, that’s human nature. We don’t like to air our dirty laundry. I’m not saying we’re wrong for it. I’m just saying the negative effect it has on us is undeniable.

We never post about our failures, but we always let everyone know about our accomplishments. We think the friends we have on social media are perfect, so we strive to be perfect like them. We could have had a thousand bad things happen that week, but we’ll post about the one good one, and in result, our friends on social media see us as perfect, just as we see them.

We don’t post pictures of the test we failed or the write up we got at work for being too exhausted to even show up on time, but as soon as we get an A, or a raise, we don’t even entirely soak up the moment before posting it to Facebook or Instagram.

We don’t post pictures of the arguments we have with our significant others, but we always post the pictures of them kissing us on the cheek, or smiling at us like we make them the happiest person in the universe. If only a camera was around to capture the moment I cussed him out for snoring so loud I couldn’t sleep.

We post pictures of ourselves, but only after we take 20, refusing to settle for anything that makes us look less than perfect. Well, as perfect as we can be before we slap a filter on it and brighten our skin.

The women before us compared themselves to the models in magazines, and it hurt, but deep down they knew those women weren’t real.

We compare ourselves to our peers, the very girls we went to high school with. They don’t use airbrush like the models in magazines, but the filters supplied for free by Instagram.

So yes, it’s humiliating to admit I deleted a picture of myself that I loved because nobody hit a stupid like button on it, but it’s true. It’s also true I’ve failed tests before, and have gotten yelled at by my boss at work. I’ve dealt with real issues like depression and anxiety. I’ve fought with my spouse to the extent of wondering if we were even meant to be together anymore. It’s hard to shed the skin of pretending to be perfect. It feels embarrassing, but it feels amazing knowing I’m not the only one. Because I guarantee you, every person you believe is perfect on your social media account is facing struggles you have no idea about.

So please remember, social media might not be completely fake, but it isn’t even close to being completely real either. And, please, remember, if you feel anything like I do, post the pictures you love, and don’t give a damn what people think. You hold the power of how you feel, and don’t you dare give it away to the insignificant like button sitting underneath your beautiful picture.

 

 

629 thoughts on “Pretty Girls Don’t Get Less Than A Hundred Likes On Their Selfie

  1. I loved this post… We get so wrapped up in what others think of us online that we create a sort of shield around ourselves that starts to blur the lines between who we really are and who we pretend to be on social media..

    Liked by 2 people

  2. How wonderful you were able to empower yourself and through this post, I’m sure a few more are now refusing to give their power away so easily. We are all the masters of our own happiness and no one can “make” us “feel” anything, it’s us who lets them. We do need to be more responsible for own actions and our own happiness. Love this post 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am so glad I am not the only one. It is scary to know that we find self worth in how many likes we get and I took a break from posting for a while and came to the decision to make a new page with content I actually enjoy. I only get about 20 likes but I am okay with that because I am posting about my life and the negative stuff I post on my snapchat story or instagram story haha. I hope you know now that you are more than the likes you get on your pictures.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Here’s the BIG reality. I too find myself deleting this and that in honor of likes. I’m a watercolor and lettering artist by the way. I always go back to my original idea and that’s what I want- to be happy and share my art with the world. If you think about who has likes in the millions well we like because it holds our attention above all else. It’s good, tasty, sexy, funny, honest, bold sometimes what we don’t have the guts to do or say or who we want to be but feel we aren’t. Sadly if you go behind most of those likes are people who are following because they feel they can’t lead or do what they need. Sure there are likes but are they making a difference! You can only make a difference by being yourself. That means liking you no matter what. If you are the mercy of what someone says or LIKES YOU then that like is what you deserve. Here’s another thought they will like you then they won’t The best is to be yourself and stand out and along the way pay props to your peeps but keep that in check. Perhaps I rambled on but I say you wrote a topic that I’m passionate about- a topic I LIKE!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Thanks yeah I just feel like you lose yourself and then you have nothing when it’s all about the likes. Loving yourself and liking yourself is well Love Wins. Thanks for writing this!

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  5. Reblogged this on Who'sBlue and commented:
    “If we truly posted to let our old friends know how we were doing, we would post about the bad stuff too, but we don’t.” – This hit me hard.
    She wrote everything that had been on my mind for so long!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is a very good subject to write about. I personally have Twitter, instagram and Facebook, I rarely post on any of them. Occasionally facebook when I have something big to say, twitter purely for a bit of banter between close friends and Instagram I purely post pictures of the places I travel to. Posting selfies is a big no, no for me purely because I don’t give rat ass whether people that follow me think I look good today or not. I realise I’m a guy so selfies aren’t meant to be my forte anyway haha. I think the key is to refrain from putting up pictures of yourself, when you are the only subject, because if it then doesn’t get the response you wanted, you are going to start doubting yourself as an individual, not the likability of the post. Equally though you the crave the boost of confidence that a good amount of likes will give you. It’s basically seeking acceptance from other people so you can accept yourself. I realise that no one is going to lay off on the social media anytime soon, but I feel selfies are the worst of the poison, your putting yourself out there on your own so you know a like is a like specifically for you, not the scenery in the background, or your mate in the picture with you. Selfies are pointless things anyway, it’s saying “look this is what I look like at this moment”, not “look at the beautiful sunset I’m enjoying” or “me and my sister are having a lovely meal”. It’s just “do you think I look good?”. Just a thought. But yes, as soon as you accept that you don’t care how many likes you get or what people are thinking of it you will be far more confident about yourself. I honestly as a guy do not find a girl who’s Instagram account is swarming with likes and looking like an art museum anymore attractive than one with a few funny out of focus pictures on it. I really don’t give a f**k and I know the same goes for most of the guys I know. It’s all about how a person is in person, that’s where your personal confidence should come from.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Brilliant article.This is so true! I get caught up in the thought process that everyone one else is living a perfect life when my Facebook friends post graduation photos or pictures of their family or partners then compare to my life where I am struggling with my current job, feel insecure about being single or not going to university. But then if they look at my account, all they see is stories of my time volunteering Overseas.

    Like

  8. This was a great read and very – well written. Don’t feel bad about people not liking you. Man, you said it best with social media wrapping people up. They are competing against fake posts. I can’t explain it. I’m a kid of the 1980s and yes, times were better then, just as the times of my parents was better than mine and so on. We were glued to video games since it was our generation who witnessed them come alive…..but……we still went outside and were out there quite a bit. I HATE social media. I have FB but that’s to publish my photography. I don’t read posts because honestly, I don’t care what someone I don’t know did with someone else I don’t know. It’s a smorgusboard of chaos. Twitter is insane. Lightning speed sentences disappearing into the abys, everyone trying to outdo the next person with lame comedy. I don’t have time for that. I have a life to live. People attached to social media have problems. This has been proven, just as with alcohol. Tests have been done and people could not be torn from their devices. When they were, they felt better. They felt alive. I have friends my age that post all the time. I feel bad I never look at their posts. Again, I don’t have time. They can call or text or email me. I don’t want to find out about family or friend issues via social media. I like this post so much I re blogged it.
    you’re awesome!
    Steve

    Liked by 1 person

  9. There’s nothing wrong in amassing “likes”. It is a form of play. Suppose I hit the “like” button on your post. I would hope it gives you a brief lift of spirit. But since we don’t know each other at all, it is totally superficial…and so what if it is? You’ve given me a chance to spread a little joy into a stranger’s life. The world could use a whole lot of that. So now I’ll hit the “like” button…if I can find it.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. There’s something that feels a little weird about our social media world. it has some amazing aspects of connection and reaching. But there’s this negative space, across the lines. When no one answers, we think what we did, must be bad. This sort of instant feedback used to not exist. So we defined ourselves better, and we looked at things like body language, subtle physical cues to what others thought, the others next to us.

    Like

  11. I limit my social media use and only post content I create now. I was never the type to simply “share” things. Now, whenever I post something, its of value. Another thing that helped me was to delete the apps off my phone. I am much less inclined to check Instagram or Facebook now. While we were going thru a family crisis I even told my husband to hang onto my FB password. Worked like a charm: I lost all desire to even log in. When value is based on external validation such as likes, that’s what truly messes with our heads. My friend only cares about how many likes she gets and its really really sad.

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  12. Your post is spot on..so sad but yes we are like that. I feel sorry for my kids growing up in this world of social media. We have to constantly remind them not to define self worth by “likes”..but it’s hard.

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  13. Nicely done.Your last paragraph says it all. We are constantly comparing our known flawed lives with the Sunday dressed version of others. What we fail to realize is those other folks are contending with the same issues. I have chosen to not be on Facebook as I don’t think folks would be that interested in what I do or feel throughout the day. I write a blog to tell folks what I think and look for the same from them.

    Like

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